i am twenty one years old

last sunday, we went to ikea and bought a bed. i got one which allows you to lift your mattress to reveal a hidden storage space. new mattress as well. and i moved up from full/double to queen, so now i takes up about 60% of my room i think.

last thursday, i bought sheets, beddings, pillows, more sheets, and then some more.

then last friday, we got around to painting my room white. while buying more paint at the home depot, i dropped by best buy and i walked out of it with a new tv and a micro component system.

i only got to assemble the bed last friday night, and it was freakin hard to assemble using the allen wrench they threw in with the allen screws(read: too tiny for my big hands). it took me all night to set it up.

then, i only realized afterwards, i took part in one of the most american traditions ever... spring cleaning. i cleaned out my room and rearranged my stuff, threw out junk and put in the new.

that aside, you're probably wondering why i'm posting about the things i bought and spent my time on. well, i'm not here to brag or whine to you, seriously...

thing is, how many of you actually thought about buying the stuff i bought. and i'm not talking about "ohh, i like that!" and then forget about it the day after. i'm talking about "ohh, i like that, i am so gonna save up for it".

uh-huh, i figured not that many of you. and those who said yes, exactly how old are you?

uh-huh.

buying a tv or a bed is something which i feel something that which proves that a person is old. seriously, when you were young all you ever dreamt about was buying a car or a house or taking a vacation. you never thought about television, beds, linens and sheets cause frankly, why should you? you have parents which are willing to buy them for you, provided, of course, that you don't stay out late for the next two weeks.

i'm happy i was able to buy those stuff and at the same time sad for having been able to buy them.

in a nutshell, its like opening presents on christmas day in front of the tree. you're happy you're finally opening the presents, and a the same time sad knowing that you'll have to wait a full year before it happens again. only this time, there's no more next year.

and i'm fuckin 21! i shouldn't be going about buying a car or a tv or having a portfolio or having a tooth extraction!

i know i shouldn't be complaining, i know a lot of you have your eyebrows raised, but i beg you to look at it from my eyes... i hope that you'll see that what i'm really complaining about is the fact that i can rant about these things... and perhaps you'll understand that its cause there's this gaping hole in my heart... and by virtue of the last two sentences, i'm an "emo person".

i hope having a look at my new "prayer" room will not be enough to make up for the time you wasted here.

oops, take a peek at my just cleaned-out closet. its pathetic.

find my tumbler...

hobbes is eating my speaker!

...and that's the opening sequence of...?

this is what someone who stayed up all night looks like... so get plenty of sleep people!

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sandwiched and sticky

there are times, which i now realize is more like an epoch and not isolated packets of days, when you just wanna get days over with to get to another day which you hope is something out of the norm and is therefore worth waiting for, and in a lot of cases, fast-forwarding-for(a-la click).

you know you're in a rut when you're in that "time" of your life. it could get so bad that sometimes even the simplest things are blown out of proportion just so it could qualify for that slowly-deteriorating criterion of highly-special days; which in turn would lead to a gradual deterioration of the quality of "special" but which, conversely, would lead to a sharp, even exponential, increase in fake, and for the most part almost always passes off as genuine(but upon closer inspection is still, in all actuality, fake), laughter and smiles. i didn't mean to pass off the previous sentence as a complex mathematical equation plucked from one of the charts of life.

and what's sad is some people think that that is normal, that that is all life has to offer, that that is the point of being, and that that is simply that; and what's scary is its alot easier to accept that and join in on the growing ranks of those, than to escape the seeming quicksand of despair; and perhaps the most horrifying of all is that this rabid thinking is an unremovable part of the human psyche, meaning at some point or another you and me and the pope wil experience it, whether or not you realize that you are or have been through it is entirely dependent on how well you are immersed into the dipping pools of the empathy of which the world is full of and a fool of.

and if you have been reading closely, or not even reading closely but rather if you are even just about ankle-deep into the afore-mentioned body of metaphoric liquid, you should come to the realization that the author of this post full of over-used cliches is in that "rut" which he affectionately described.

so yes, please kill him now and end his misery and pitiful existence.

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trial by ache

i always thought my teeth were invincible ripping machines... until about a week ago.

i felt my right, lower molar aching about midday last saturday. i shrugged it off thinking it'll just go away, as what does usually happens anyway. but it didn't go away completely, it subsided a little sporadically over the next few days.

by monday, right about before i left the office, the ache came back in full glory. my golly-gosh-gash! it was so freakin' painful(and i do have a high tolerance for pain, bordering on becoming a masochist in fact. but i'm not saying masochists have a high tolerance for pain...). the kind which makes your legs cringe and your head float and your tears swell. its like eating through your very soul. uh, well, no. that's a little bit too melodramatically exaggerated for a toothache, but you get the picture. i took two advils and still nothing. the drive home was a nightmare. i got my bro to look-up an emergency dentist nearby but it i'm uninsured and its waaaaaay too expensive. he's going to charge me 900 bucks for the root canal, 400 to plug it up, and an additional ??? amount for the crown(which could come in silver, gold or ivory or any bling-bling metal). so i got a bottle of tylenol instead.

but tuesday was worse, the ache was there since i woke up. it didn't let up even with three tylenols(don't do that guys, it could potentially cause stomach bleeding). so by midday, i had to leave the office and went on to search for a dentist who accepts walk-ins who won't charge emergency fees. the only one i found(well, more like the only one i went to) couldn't see me til the morning after. so i went home to just sleep it off and hope tomorrow comes soon enough.

but my aunt found this dentist, a filipina, who was willing to see me. only thing was, she was all the way across town. made it to her clinic, and upon examining my tooth, concluded that she can't do anything yet cause it already had an infection(read: abscess). so it had to be dried out first. so that means it'll be a week before she could pull it the tooth out(by this point, i was all for tooth extraction, root canals are just waaay to expensive. not to mention there's no guarantee that its not gonna cause me anymore problems). so, to help with the pain, she also prescribed me narcotics aside from the antibiotics for the bacteria.

for the normal person, that would've worked. but i'm a-b-normal, so it didn't work quite as well(that's why i'm not abnormal, there are still some lines to be crossed/removed before i become one). the antibiotics prescribed to me were literally old hat for my bacteria. it weak for me cause since i was young, i have been bombarded again and again with progressively more and more powerful antibiotics, thanks to my super easy to infect tonsils. the last culture test for back in manila about three years ago showed about only three types of antibiotics which would still work great for me, the others are already too weak for my bacteria and therefore may not be able to get rid of them.

so basically, i spent wednesday, thursday and friday at home nursing the throbbing pain in my mouth when i'm awake. oh, did i mention that my gums developed a sore as well? perfect. the narcotics they gave me wasn't that strong(or i guess the pain was really that strong), but it did put me to sleep whenever i take it. so the only time i was able to work was on the hour when the narcotics wear off which means its time for the next pill and the next wait till it kicks in.

now, i realized that it hasn't been my tooth that's been aching for a long time now but my gums. oh well, same difference. anyway, since by friday the pain was still there, it was time to change the antibiotics that as given to me because it was indeed to weak for me. so the dentist gave me pennicillin instead. erm, to tell you the truth, this is the first time i've ever taken pennicillin. and that's good cause that means my bacteria doesn't know pennicillin yet and so it has a better chance to get rid of them.

and yes, finally, saturday, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most painful, its now a stable 1! i'm finally able to eat again. i still feel it, though, but its not really aching anymore, its like a reminder now that i have a toothache.

so, my message to all of you is... no amount of money can ever pay for the pain a toothache can cause. so tooth fairy, don't insult what i went through with a quarter.

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Giveaway of the Day

i keep watch on a lot of websites, see if they're worth any good. today, one of them stood out from the rest.

> GIVEAWAY OF THE DAY <

though i've been watching it for weeks now, i thought that the programs they were featuring were so-so until today. they are giving away aston, a desktop replacement program. i'm a bit weary of installing stuff on my newly-reformatted box but what the heck.

so i installed it and i was blown away at the fact that it didn't just replace my desktop, it also made load times even faster! woot!

so, thank you GOTD. you just won me over.

and they also giveaway a game each day, if that's your cup of tea.

hurry, last time i looked, today's giveaway will expire 6 hours from now.

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